My International Women's Day=Melancholy Day for me

Why is it when you get back from holiday you feel like crap? I should be thanking my lucky stars that I haven't had to start eating my own cat's Wild Ocean Fish-flavoured Iams for sustinence cos I've finally managed to get some work trickling in to buy food again. My face is like crap - full of spots. My mates who I saw at the weekend said it's a combination of stress, alongside way too much alcohol and not enough water. So this afternoon, after I've popped out and done me chores, I'm hitting the bottle of Buxton.

I had to chase a supplier for payment - they paid over 2 weeks late - but they're a charity so can't knock em. Shame though cos it makes me wary about working with charities again. And makes me feel bad that in feeling that, I am not sympathetic or appreciative about that charity's achievements. Just cos they don't have much cash shouldn't mean their systems should be sh*t right?!?

So I'm beginning to think that Him Upstairs was punishing me by making me eat dirt and get proper depressed so I would appreciate the work more when it eventually rolled in. The two weeks have been hectic with 3 paying jobs, and the next 2 weeks I've got another 3 paying jobs - all corporate TV stuff ( no more broadcast just yet) which will bring me in about £3,500. Great, you say but it's modest cos that ain't coming in every day or every week, it's intermittent. So makes up for the fact I earned BIG FAT ZERO for January and February this year. I'm very happy that those 2 dreadful months have been consigned to the trash forever cos I never want to scrounge again.

So today is melancholy. Glad I've got work, but feeling very down about something. I feel the need to be recognised for what I do, but there are other people shouting louder than me all day every day. What should I do?